christmas carol

Wooo, sending christmas wishes can be so moving, so loaded with emotions. I almost written I love you.
I didn't.
Oh no, I've written it, but not in serious manner, I was mocking Toki from
'Metalocalypse' and his fucked up grammar. I didn't mean it. Or i did?
At least i didn't mean in 'I'm dying because of you' way.
Or I did?
I'm really not realy sure what I ment when I wrote those words. I know that you've been someone very close and very special and I will always have some feelings for you.
And probably there will be many more situations in which I will imagine, that onyl thing separating me from you is thin, glass wall and only thing i can do is stare at you. Or turn my back and walk away, which I tried to do yesterday and it hurt.

I wish I was like you, easily amused

Mwahahahaha. It's ironic, isn't it?
I mean... finally I feel I'm in position to say sth like this. I hate this lyrics, because it is so mean, it's like saying "I'm far more dark and complicated than you". But using it now gives me hint of satisfaction. I feel the power of being superior, mwahahaha
Because I wish I could fall in love with every person representing opposite sex that gives me some attention. I could've fell in love with K. but I have bad luck to be picky. So probably I will have to wait next one hundred years of solitude to find someone above the ground again.
Anyway, I'm really happy for you, babe! I can't write it to you right now, because i have to keep distance, but I'm really glad that you started to live again and that I made a good choice this time and I hope you will be ok! Just don't tell her about previous girls, you moron!
I keep my fingers crossed ^^
chirp

Winter kept us warm, covering earth in forgetful snow

Alert! Forgetfull snow doesn't work!
Yesterday I felt free, I was walking through the snow and singing "Bring me the disco king" and I just felt light and happy and not chained to you anymore.
And now I'm fighting with myself because I don't want to look at your fb, pb, whatever. I just don't want to. Not today. I have to remind myself why i decided to say goodbye and wy we are better off this way. ]
I just have to survive Sunday and then I will feel free again.