Soon there'll be nothing left of me, nothing left to release

Do I really need to start every entry with 'fuck'?!
I guess so...well then... f u c k
God, it seems that people on the Uni have certain age and something like... more or less reasonable attitude towards life. I mean, they do not have this "I pay you, so I demand certain conveniences" kind of thinking. It was understandable - partially - in my high school, where we really had to pay tuition, but come on, it was high school, we were young and stupid. Ok, I was full of understanding during the first year, because we were new, we came from different schools, we didn't know what's going on and where are the toilets and so on... But I'm just not able to tolerate stupidity on second year. And I won't. Just so.

Hello, girls, wake up!
- Yes, we are on the second year.
- Yes, we are obliged to bring the materials for classes, yes, we have to go to the library, find them, copy and pay with our own money. So tiring, I think I can't bear with it. And we have to read this long books, articles, analysis. Horrible.
- Yes, classes last one and half an hour, not 45 or 60 minutes. No, nobody cares to change it because you have problems with concentration and can't sit in one place longer than 60 minutes.
- Yes, nobody cares that you have to learn descriptive grammar you probably will never need in your life, because you're not going to take specialisation in it. And drama, literature and poetry. And lingusitic. And USA and British Culture. And methodology. And speaking, writing, pracitical grammar and phonetics. Oh, wait, so what exactly are you about to take on your specialization?
- And yes, my dear angels, exams at the end of the term are to eliminate students. And they eliminate students, believe it or not. It's just foolish of you to claim, that They have no right to fail us and 'Can you imagine? this stupid bastard, how could he?! for what reason, she was learning this time". . They have the right to do everything what they wish. For whatever sick reason. Accept it. Deal with it. Or get the fuck out.
- finally - yes, we are fucking adults and we are on the fucking stationary studies on University. We don't have to pay any tuition, and so we DON'T have to learn anything, we DON'T have to read books and articles, we DON'T have to attend the classes and participate in them, we are NOT obliged to study here in general. But for Christ's sake,if we don't do any of those basic things, we have absolutely no right to moan and critisize every teacher we have contact with.

Yes, I know, I'm frantic over obvious things, but I spend like... one day every week listening to stupid claims and demands from people, who are not even feel like doing anything usefull, they just sit and talk about how they hate american literature teacher instead of reading few pages, so they would know anything and be more or less able to answer her questions.
So... yes, I am annoyed. Seriously annoyed. At the verge of shouting on innocent people.
Thank you for attention, goodnight.

things have never been so swell, I have never failed to fail

Fuck
It's been long time since I was so full of negative energy. I'm not sad or tired anymore, now I'm just angry. Which is actually good, because in my case being angry is creative. Because when I'm angry I want to do something, say something, that I wouldn't probably say any other day. I wrote to annoying dA girl what I think about her 'I'm-so-hated-and-nobody-loves-me-I-want-to-kill-myself" journal entries, and guess what? I feel great now. And I will be probably ashamed of it the other day.
And what annoys me even more, is the fact that the person I am so mad with is unavailable right now. I can write a message or leave comment somewhere - which I did - but when she comes back, I won't be so angry with her anymore and I won't start a quarrel, because I won't care anymore.
And she won't care, that because of her few words, this stupid "sorry, I've got to go" I felt like the lonliest person in the world - against the problem which appeared too big for me. Because, you know, I was counting on her at that moment, I called her because I thought she would give me some idea or backup or whatever. Ok, I've never had big expectations or delusions towards her, and...
God, it's even more sad that she still was able to dissapoint me.
C'mon girl, if you are really so worried about someone you like and you really want to help him, do it next time. I've tried, I did my best, and you have no law to criticise me and suggest, that if everything turns bad direction now, you will blame me. It's just pathetic.
Arrrghhhht

Sometimes you can't make it on your own

Hell yeah, my studies in english philology are warm and fluffy. People who were supposed to stay on first year are still with us. So lovely. My studies in sociology are... err... I've been there twice since inauguration, I even don't really know my group. I generally recognize the faces, but, oh, nevermind, I don't care.
Started smoking again. Fuck. Not that I ever truly stopped though.
I love the world, I love my friends, don't you want somebody to love, oh, don't you need somebody to love... dam dam dam
Some problems arise somewhere, on the margin, failures in comumnication, etc, but not today, my dear, not today. Life is life, there are always some not-nice things around. Just don't look at them.
It's snowing outside there. wtf?