Somehow it still bothers me. No big deal, I just want to know that you are all right and that you feel better. I know I can’t write to you. It wouldn’t do any good – to you and to me. I would start to talk about our glorious past, you would claim that there is no need to come back to those times and now you’re perfectly fine. I know you would, you used to do that a lot. You even tricked me few times, I really was convinced thay you don’t give a damn and I was sad and angry because of it.
Now I know you cared. And that you also suffered after we split. You suffered much more than I did, because you took me to almost every place you usually go to, I was in your room, I slept in your bed, I wore your shirts. So I’m not angry that you became sore and tried to push me away.
I know that I can’t be your friend, not now at least. It’s a little bit sad, but at least I understand. Do you know, what I would like to do the most?
I’d like to appear in front of you, - just like that. Maybe as some kind of ghost or vision. When I lay in bed I’m trying to concentrate on you, and appear in your dream. I would wear your shirt – the one you gave me and I painted it green, red and orange. In this vision it is still black-and-white. You would be lying on your bed, your head turned to the wall. I would sit next to you and touch your arm gently. Then I’d embrace you and whisper quietly to your ear: “I’m sorry for the whole pain I gave you. I hope you’re ok now.” Then I would kiss you in the forehead and stay with you until you fall asleep again.
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