And here I am. Starting new degree of studies without money, without work, without own flat, without love. And it's getting cold, outside and inside. There are dementors out there and I need to eat a lot of chocolate. Or I guess I just don't know. When I went on the uni the first time everything was so new, so easy, so fascinating. Now it's just strange. I guess I have friends, I have somebody to talk to, but I have nobody who inspires me, nobody I would like to follow. A student without a master, that's who I am. I don't want to quote "eulogy" once again, but I really need this now. And I need to tell somebody the story of my life.
More and more often I think that this strange something I had with my sweet prince was good. Very good. We were the perfect fit, it's a shame we didn't survive. I guess I partly put the blame on our mutual friend. I wonder how would it be without her bitching about the need of having an relationship. Maybe it would be worse. maybe we got so close and so intimate because our mutual friend became our enemy. I don't know, I miss him and I know I will never talk to him again. It's forbidden by my power of self-respect. If he wanted to have contact with me, he would. I gave him a chance in june, but he ignored it. Whatever. And I'm angry with her, because by ingoring me and not informing about the change of plans she harms me more than he ever had.
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